10 Rules for Negotiating Your Job Offer
Over the past 7-8 years, I’ve worked across startups, scale-ups, consultancies and high-pressure engineering teams. I specialise in cloud, DevOps, Kubernetes, automation and platform engineering - but one thing I learned very early is this:
Your technical skills get you the interview. Your negotiation skills decide your career.
I’ve personally negotiated:
- Salary jumps like £80k to £100k, £100k to £120k+
- Contract day rates from £500 to £650
- Title upgrades from Senior to Principal
- Senior to Staff level transitions
- Remote flexibility, reduced on-call, sign-on bonuses, contract tweaks and more
I’ve coached engineers at every level - juniors getting their first break, seniors stepping into leadership and principals trying to align compensation with responsibility.
Across all these cases, one thing stays true:
Most engineers massively undervalue themselves because no one ever taught them how to negotiate.
Here’s the reality: negotiation is an art of its own. It has tactics, unspoken rules, leverage patterns and psychology behind it. Some of it seems like “common sense” only after someone tells you. Most of what I teach here comes from experience - and honestly, mistakes I made early on.
Why Most Advice is Useless
Most negotiation advice is vague rubbish. “Make sure you negotiate.” “Never say the first number.” Beyond those two morsels, you’re on your own.
I think people believe negotiation is some mystical skill that some people have and others don’t. That’s nonsense. Negotiation is learnable. It’s not magic. It’s patterns and psychology.
Three caveats before we start:
One: I’m not a professional negotiator. When my advice contradicts actual experts, assume I’m wrong.
Two: Negotiation is intertwined with social dynamics. The appropriate advice for a white male in London might not be appropriate for someone else in a different context. Be aware of this. But don’t let fear of discrimination stop you from negotiating - that’s often just as damaging.
Three: Negotiation is stupid. It’s a practice that rewards those who are good at it, regardless of actual merit. But it’s the system we have. Might as well get good at it.
The Ten Rules
RULE PRINCIPLE
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1 Get everything in writing
2 Always keep the door open
3 Information is power
4 Always be positive
5 Don't be the decision maker
6 Have alternatives
7 Proclaim reasons for everything
8 Be motivated by more than just money
9 Understand what they value
10 Be winnableLet me walk through each one.
Rule 1: Get Everything in Writing
When you receive an offer, write everything down. Salary, equity, bonus, start date, title, benefits, WFH policy - all of it.
Even if they say they’ll send a written version later, write it down yourself. Even non-monetary things: “we’re migrating to Kubernetes next quarter” - write it down. “The team is 8 people” - write it down.
You’ll forget. And this information will inform your decision.
From this point on, everything significant gets a paper trail. Confirm details in follow-up emails. Companies often don’t send official offer letters until the deal is done, so it’s on you to document.
Rule 2: Always Keep the Door Open
After they give you the offer details, they’ll ask: “So what do you think?”
This is a trap. Not malicious, but it’s designed to get you to commit.
If you say “Yes, sounds amazing, when do I start?” - you’ve accepted. Door closed.
If you say “Can you do £95k instead of £90k?” - you’ve also closed the door. You’ve told them exactly what it takes to sign you. They’ll offer £92k and you’ll probably accept.
Never give up negotiating power until you’re ready to make a final, informed decision.
Instead, say something like:
“Thanks so much - I’m really excited about the opportunity. Right now I’m wrapping up conversations with a few other companies, so I can’t commit to specifics yet. But I’m confident we can find something that works for both of us. I’d love to be part of the team.”
You’ve said nothing. You’ve committed to nothing. You’ve kept all your power.
Rule 3: Information is Power
The company doesn’t tell you their budget. They don’t tell you what they paid the last person in this role. They don’t tell you how desperate they are to fill the position.
They want all your information while protecting theirs.
Don’t play that game.
When you say “Can you do £95k instead of £90k?” you’ve revealed your hand. They now know exactly where the ceiling is. They’ll bid £92k and close.
But what if you’re the kind of person who wouldn’t consider anything below £110k? Or £120k? If you were, you wouldn’t be asking for £95k.
By staying silent, they don’t know which kind of person you are. That uncertainty is your leverage.
Corollary: Don’t reveal your current salary if you can avoid it. If you must, be liberal in calculating total compensation - include bonuses, stock, benefits, pension, on-call pay, everything. And frame it as “This is what I’m making now, and I’m looking for a step up.”
Rule 4: Always Be Positive
Even if the offer is rubbish, stay positive and excited about the company.
Why? Because your excitement is an asset. The company is investing in you because they think you’ll work hard and stay. If you seem less excited, you become a riskier investment. You’re literally worth less to them.
So regardless of how negotiations are going, signal that:
- You still like the company
- You’re still excited to work there
- You want to make this work
Reiterate that you love the mission, the team, the problem space. Keep the energy up.
Rule 5: Don’t Be the Decision Maker
End the offer conversation like this:
“I’ll look over the details and discuss with my partner/family/advisor. I’ll reach out if I have questions. Thanks for sharing the good news!”
See what happened? You’ve introduced external decision-makers. The recruiter can’t pressure you because the “real” decision-maker is beyond their reach.
This is a classic technique. Customer support does it: “It’s not my decision, I’m just doing my job.” It defuses tension and gives you control.
Even if you don’t actually care what your partner thinks about your job offer, mentioning them gives you breathing room.
Rule 6: Have Alternatives
This is the most important rule. Having other offers is the single strongest lever you have.
Here’s why: companies know their own interview process is noisy. They know most interview processes are noisy. But a candidate with multiple offers has multiple weak signals in their favour. Combined, those converge into a much stronger signal.
It’s like a student with a strong SAT score AND strong GPA AND scholarships. Could still be a dunce, but much less likely.
So tell companies you have other offers. It’s not tacky. It’s the oldest method in history to galvanise a marketplace: show that supply is limited.
When you get an offer, immediately email every other company you’re talking to:
Hi [NAME],
Quick update on my process - I've just received an offer from [COMPANY]
which is quite strong. That said, I'm really excited about [YOUR COMPANY]
and want to see if we can make it work.
Since my timeline is now compressed, is there anything you can do to
expedite the process?Send this to everyone. Even companies you think are long shots. Demand breeds demand.
Rule 7: Proclaim Reasons for Everything
When you ask for something, always give a reason. Even if the reason is weak, having one makes requests more palatable.
Bad: “I want £110k.”
Good: “I’m looking for £110k because that’s what it would take to make this move make sense financially - I’d be leaving unvested equity and my current role has strong growth trajectory.”
The reason doesn’t have to be ironclad. It just has to exist. People are wired to respond better to requests that have justification, even flimsy justification.
Rule 8: Be Motivated by More Than Just Money
Don’t approach negotiation as pure compensation extraction. Think about what you actually want:
- Base salary
- Equity/bonus
- Title
- Remote flexibility
- Team/project placement
- Learning opportunities
- Reduced on-call
- Sign-on bonus
- Start date
- Hardware/equipment
Some of these are easier for companies to give than others. Equity might come from a fixed pool. But a title upgrade? Remote days? Those often cost the company nothing.
Negotiate across multiple dimensions. Sometimes you’ll get more value by asking for things that don’t cost them much.
Rule 9: Understand What They Value
Try to understand the company’s position. What do they actually care about?
- Are they desperate to fill this role?
- Is headcount tight?
- Do they have competing candidates?
- Is the hiring manager fighting for budget?
- What’s their timeline?
The more you understand their constraints, the better you can craft asks that work for both sides.
If they’re desperate, you have more leverage than you think. If they have five other candidates, you have less. Read the situation.
Rule 10: Be Winnable
Here’s the counterbalance to everything above: the company needs to believe they can actually close you.
If you seem like you’re just collecting offers with no intention of joining, they’ll stop investing energy. If you seem impossible to satisfy, they’ll move on.
Signal that you’re genuinely interested. That if the right package comes together, you’ll sign. That you’re not just wasting their time.
The best negotiating position is: “I really want to join. Help me make it work.”
Dealing with Exploding Offers
Exploding offers - offers that expire in 24-72 hours - are increasingly common, especially at startups.
They’re designed to limit your ability to get counteroffers. Companies know exactly what they’re doing.
Don’t feel guilty about pushing back. Needing more than 48 hours to make a life decision isn’t a character flaw.
Here’s how to handle it:
"I have one concern. You mentioned this offer expires in 48 hours.
That doesn't work for me - there's no way I can make an informed
decision in that window. I'm wrapping up conversations with other
companies, which will take another week or so. I'll need more time."If they push back:
"That's unfortunate. I really like [COMPANY] and was excited about
the team, but 48 hours is too short for a decision this significant.
I take my commitments seriously and need to consult with [PARTNER/ADVISOR].
I can't make a decision I'm comfortable with in this timeframe."Almost every company will relent. If they don’t, walk away. They’ll usually grab you before you reach the door.
Every exploding offer I’ve ever received widened when I pushed back. Sometimes by weeks.
The Mindset
Don’t value companies on a single dimension. Salary matters, but so does:
- Cultural fit
- Challenge of the work
- Learning potential
- Career trajectory
- Quality of life
- Growth potential
- Overall happiness
Anyone who says “just choose where you’ll be happiest” is being as simplistic as someone who says “just choose the highest salary.”
Also remember: different companies value you differently. Your specific skills might be worth more at Company A than Company B. The more companies you talk to, the more likely you are to find one where you’re unusually valuable.
Keep an open mind about which company that turns out to be.
Final Thoughts
Negotiation feels uncomfortable. It feels like you’re being greedy or difficult.
Get over it.
Companies expect negotiation. They’ve budgeted for it. The offer they give you has room built in. Not negotiating leaves money on the table that was allocated for you.
In all my years, I’ve never seen an offer rescinded because someone negotiated professionally. It basically doesn’t happen. And when it does, the candidate was being unreasonable or the company was looking for an excuse.
The worst they can say is no. And even then, you’ve signalled that you know your worth.
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Your skills got you the interview.
Your negotiation decides your career.
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